I Love You

I sit here alone all day
I try and find the words to say
You always knew how to make me smile
But only for a while
It's amazing how we knew each other for along time
But now i can call you mine
Our love is true
Girl all I want to say is I love you!

Pass Me By

I see you walking everywhere
I want to say something, but I can't find the words to share
Such a beautiful face, walking in a lonely place
And a wonderful smile, I haven't seen in a while
As I look at you, I see you cry
On the street, as you pass me by

Crying in the Rain

I cry, but I feel no pain
I smile, but I'm going insane
You look for me all around, but I'm nowhere to be found
You have worried about me for so long, but I can tell you nothing is wrong
I tell you i love you and you say I'm insane
Now I feel the pain, as I start crying in the rain

My White Flag

I chased you but always trailed
I tried but always failed
I had hope but not anymore
It seems like things aren't like before
I screwed up and I said I wouldn't
I hurt you somehow, but I really shouldn't
It's time to give up since no hope lasts
All that's alive are memories from the past
I'm so sorry things went wrong
You won't have to worry about it after long
I'm putting my hopeless dream into my hidden "bag"
And I'm going to wave my white flag.
I give up girl... I surrender...

3-18-2009 The Passing of a Friend

March 18, 2009 was an ordinary day. In fact it was a day after my birthday. I turned eighteen on March 17. But on March 18, 2009 a really dear friend passed away.

August 21, 2006, Aaron Alan Edmiston became a freshman at Mesa Ridge High School. He and I were enrolled in the ROTC program there. He loved it, but I did not. We wore uniforms that were heavy and black and we could not even breathe. He went to competition in New Mexico that same year. He told me it was so loud there and it was so cold. So cold you can see your breath. I could hardly understand him because he lost his voice.

March 7, 2007, rolls around and it was the day of the Navy Ball. Navy Ball was an amazing dance. Hearing the music and feeling it beat your body around. From what I heard in the past the Navy Ball was way better then the Homecoming dance. Homecoming was fun but I loved Navy Ball. The downside of it was that we had to wear uniforms. But I did not care because in ten days was my birthday. I was turning fifteen so I was pretty excited.

May 22, rolls up and it was the last day of hell (or as the teachers and the school liked to put it as, Freshmen year). Summer was finally here and I was so happy because I had no school and I had no job for I was only a kid. I hung out with Aaron a lot during the summer. He was so cool and everywhere we would go he'd always wear a hat. That kid never took off that hat. But he was a great guy. He never meant to do anything wrong in his life but noone's perfect.

August 21, 2007 comes after a long hot summer. School begins and we were sophomores. The bell goes off and the students go to class. The halls were packed full of students. The final bell rings and any student caught out in the halls or out of class would get written up. Aaron and I were in ROTC again this year. But we had fun because we went to competition together with forty more cadets. It was in New Mexico again this year. We also played pranks on all of our high ranking officers and our teachers. Wow! You should have seen Aaron's face when I dropped a water balloon on my CO (commanding officer). The balloon was filled up with water and lotion. I got in so much trouble. I had to do so many push-ups I thought my arms were going to fall off.

Before I knew it , I was at 98 push-ups. I started to tear up and I was screaming the number. My CO was laughing her butt off. I still think she hates me. Aaron on the other hand was having a great time. Well we were done with the competition and we took home twenty-four first and second place trophies! We were so happy but my arms still hurt.

May 22, school's finally out and we are no longer sophomores. Summer finally starts yet again and I got to sleep in. Some days Aaron and I went to the movies for two reasons. One to enjoy a good movie and two to try and pick up girls. But this summer went by really fast. Before we knew it we went out and bought supplies for school. We couldn't find all the stuff we needed so we went to different places.

August 22, 2008, is here and school is back yet again. Just to annoy us I believe. But Aaron didn't really mind. He loved school because he was able to hang out with his friends and be in ROTC. He always made people laugh. Then before we knew it Navy Ball was here again. March 7, 2009, the Navy Ball was back. The music played, the cadets danced, and the teachers...Well they just watched. We took a break from dancing and announced the Navy Ball king, queen, prince, and princess. Aaron was the Navy Ball prince.

March 17, 2009, my birthday finally arrived. I was officially eighteen. I knew anything that I did wrong could put me in prison. But I didn't care because I was eighteen and I had no worry in the world. But the next day all hell broke loose. It was an ok day for me. Everything was going great. For Aaron it was a different story. He got in trouble for vandalizing some cars throughout his neighborhood. Him and two other cadets got in trouble with the law. I never knew what had happened until the next day.

March 19, 2009, this was a sad day for me and so many. My mom and dad went to work early that morning , but I stayed home because I felt "sick". 10:00 a.m. rolled around and I heard a knock on my front door. I wondered who the hell it was. So I answered it and it was my friend Kris. He was panicked and he sounded like he had been crying for awhile. I thought to myself "Why is Kris crying? He never crys." That's when I recieved the terrible news. I started to cry. The way Kris gave me the news he said, in a voice that was horse like he had been crying, he told me, "Last night Aaron got into a lot of trouble." I asked him, " Why are you crying though?" He replied, with tears running down his face, "Aaron killed himself!" That's what got me. My friend! My brother! Gone! Killed himself!

Aaron's passing was a strong and painful thing. I miss him. Everyone misses him. Mesa Ridge and ROTC will never be the same again. Not without Aaron being there.

Rest In Peace Aaron 5-27-1992 - 3-18-2009.

Good bye my brother.