Friday, October 23, 2009
My wrong turn in life.
When i was younger in school it was the eleventh grade. All that was left is one more year to go. I took a wrong turn,hung out with bad people, got into a lot of trouble. Was in plenty fights in and out of school till finally was suspended for good. My mother was very upset with my choices in life, so she said either you go back to school, or get a job. So i went to work for the first time at 16 years old as a prep cook. If i could turn back time school would have been my first choice to complete. But after all i would have never got the chance to become the great chef i am today.Now my new goal is to get my GED and go straight to college for culinary art. I really love cooking for people, i think its a real art. Plus, i want to learn everything about ice sculpting , baking fancy cakes and pies. I want to learn more of what i love to do and become one-of-kind greatest chef. Most of all want to make my children and mother happy and to be very proud of what i have done with my life.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The longest month of our lives.
There are moments in life, when twisted turns change your life.For good or for bad, but those experiences always make you wiser . I'm going to tell what happened to my family-(My husband Ruben, My daughter Scarlet, My son Gary and I.
About 3 years ago, some one called my husband at 6 a.m in the morning. It was my brother in law telling my husband that my father in law was very ill and he wanted to see him. he had melanoma, is a tipe of cancer, that can spreed all over your body quickly. My father in law requested that he needed to see his son , maybe for the last time, because he was the only one far away from him. at that moment Ruben, knew that he had to go to meet him.
We went all the way down to Juarez , Mexico. The first thing to do is to get a permit, from the Mexican custom office. But my husband learned that, since he had only a tourist visa he could not have the permit for the two cars. He was desperate in that moment his father was dying and now this problem . But at the exit of the custom office a man started to honk his horn; my husband stopped. He approached to us and and told him."I can help you, I'm a custom officer my self". Ruben thought he was his savior. the men told us he would fix all the papers and permits that we needed.
We stayed for two days in a motel waiting for him to arrived with the papers, and he did, but he send another person, it was another man,so he put the papers on the cars windows, this person , was so nervous, like he was hiding something so Ruben told him ' 'T hank's for everything you are done for us ". The man made a face , like if he was feeling bad for us. Then he just asked for the money and left. They charged us $800.00 dllrs. When we cross, the first custom station. The officers approached to my husband by the window side, and told him, "where are you going guero". (that means Blondie). My husband answered, "To Guadalajara because my father is dying". They looked at him with a face of doubt,and said, "Show me your permits and the cars papers". Ruben did what he was asked to do.
Then they started to laugh and said"This permits are fake, you are going to jail guero". My husband was surprised. He didn't now the papers were fake. He started sobbing and told them, "Please my father is dying, and I need to go and be by his side". They chuckled and said, "If your father is going to die you can't do nothing about it, But maybe we can fix this problem some how". They wanted the things we had inside of our car, like a t.v. set and a d.v.r that Ruben brought to sell for some the expenses of the funeral and the trip, but he told them, "No, am not going to make more mistakes. If you are going to take me to prison just do it " They started to whisper to each other, and then turn to my husband and say "We are going to let you go, so you can return to Juarez, and fix your problem".
Maybe those officers touch their hearts, I would never know. We returned to Juarez and tried to sell our cars , but no one offered a fair price. So we decided,to go to the airport and take a plane, but they didn't had flights that day.
Ruben decided to rent a van and leave are cars at the airport parking lot. The car that we rented had license plate of Coahuila, Mex, so nobody stooped us in the way to Guadalajara. It took us 32 hours to be in the city, we rode all the way to the hospital of Guzman, city were my father in law was. My husband got inside of the room looked at his father, for the first time in 6 years and told him "It's me Ruben don't you re recognize me", but he couldn't focus his sight and he couldn't speak either, he moved his eyes side ways like wondering where his son was, Ruben approached near him and gave him a kiss and whispered in the ear, " Don't be afraid of dead dad because you're going to be better with god in heaven", and your agony is going to end.
With a broken eye a drop of tear fell down to his cheek. He was breathing fast at first but when Ruben told him all those words, while he caressed his face and later hug him, he started to breath more calmed. When I entered to his room and sow him, I started to yelled and broke in tears, while my mother in law was holding me I stared to asked with a broken voice " why God let people suffer like this ". He wasn't my father but it hurt like he was my blood. Maybe from another life , don't ask me why but it hurt so deep inside of my heart and I only knew him for about a month but he already had a place in my life.
That night we went to rest, waiting for tomorrow to see him again, but we found out he just passed away. Ruben and his siblings prepared everything for the funeral, many people came to my husband childhood house, to pray for my father in law soul, that's the way Catholic people in Mexico, are accustomed to. While the people were inside , I had to wait in are car with my son, because he was to restless and he'll made noise inside of the house and could annoy the guest. So we waited out side for about 10 hrs until next morning. Next day it was time to go to the cemetery to say the last prayer and the last good bye. We spended 1 more day and later we returned to Juarez for our cars and to returned the rented car.
Next morning my sister's husband arrived by airplane to Juarez, he came to help us because he is a resident of U.S.A. And he could easily take the cars to California. We traveled by bus to Tijuana and I was able to see my sister that I miss so much, we stayed for two weeks then we cross San Isidro border by the sentry box everything was getting better, so we went to visit my mom, she lives at Bonita, California. I was so happy to see her because I miss her so much. But we had to say good bye again.
After that we headed to San Bernardino Cal. where my husband's aunt lives, she loaned us some money because we thought to take our children to Disney land, I thought they could relaxed and forget the hard moments of these unfortunate events, wish in they struggled, most of it my youngest one, he was 2 years old at that time. I have to say " They had the best time of their lives". My little son was surprised of the parade and the rides, but his big sister felt if she was at home , because she had gone before.
We were ready to go to our home at Colorado Springs, so we hit the road. We had the two cars and everything was almost O.K. because with the lost of my father in law my poor husband didn't have time to grief. He looked so strong, he is the kind of man that doesn't cry.
We were at the road and passing the last tunnel, we thought now we are o.k because this is Golden, Colorado. We could see the city view of Denver, Colorado the lights twinkling in the dark of the night, all of the sudden the car that we were towing, slipped with the icy road and sweep us away it made the car to crush in to a cement wall, close to the deep ravine . I just closed my eyes and "Said what ever you want for us, it's o.k with me dear God" and my husband said "Please help us God".
The car we were towing got detached from the car we were riding and roll over and ended destroyed. When I opened my eyes I toughed we were dead but surprising every body was fine, physically but emotionally every body was destroyed. I jumped out of the car opened the door and grabbed my son's car seat with him on it, I ran to a safer place because the cars were passing be so fast, my husband grabbed my daughter by the broken window.
It was like if dead was following us, no body wanted to stop it was 3am and then a Grand Caravan pulled over at the road shoulder. It was a elder gentleman he looked worry for us , he asked us " every body its o.k ? do you need help?". He happened to be a ex police man. When the ambulance and the firefighters came over, my husband was in a shock he couldn't speak he was just holding my son like staring with his sight lost , with his big green eyes wide open. I did all the talking with the officers, paramedics and the fire fighters.
They asked me "Is every body o.k" and I answered yes and then they depart . The gentleman who stopped, give us a ride to Denver we stayed in a hotel waiting for a friend to pick us up at 6:00 we were on are way to Colorado Springs. Finally once we were in Springs we start all over again with no money and no cars "Thank God we pay in advance the rent of the apartment and I left food in the frizzier " (The most important thing was that we were alive).
My poor son ended with postraumatic stress, but he is much better now and mi daughter cried for six months, my husband didn't had time to Griff and sometimes his eyes turn red when he start to remember his papa and his home town. The bruises of are body disappear, but the ones we have inside are hearts and memory, those just time will erase them. (So always try to be positive, because in a blink of an eye life can change. ) Things that I learned: to be more stronger, less naive, to save money and be grateful for every thing I have.
"Dedicated to an angel that watch for all of us from heaven " Porfirio Guizar De La Cruz .
About 3 years ago, some one called my husband at 6 a.m in the morning. It was my brother in law telling my husband that my father in law was very ill and he wanted to see him. he had melanoma, is a tipe of cancer, that can spreed all over your body quickly. My father in law requested that he needed to see his son , maybe for the last time, because he was the only one far away from him. at that moment Ruben, knew that he had to go to meet him.
We went all the way down to Juarez , Mexico. The first thing to do is to get a permit, from the Mexican custom office. But my husband learned that, since he had only a tourist visa he could not have the permit for the two cars. He was desperate in that moment his father was dying and now this problem . But at the exit of the custom office a man started to honk his horn; my husband stopped. He approached to us and and told him."I can help you, I'm a custom officer my self". Ruben thought he was his savior. the men told us he would fix all the papers and permits that we needed.
We stayed for two days in a motel waiting for him to arrived with the papers, and he did, but he send another person, it was another man,so he put the papers on the cars windows, this person , was so nervous, like he was hiding something so Ruben told him ' 'T hank's for everything you are done for us ". The man made a face , like if he was feeling bad for us. Then he just asked for the money and left. They charged us $800.00 dllrs. When we cross, the first custom station. The officers approached to my husband by the window side, and told him, "where are you going guero". (that means Blondie). My husband answered, "To Guadalajara because my father is dying". They looked at him with a face of doubt,and said, "Show me your permits and the cars papers". Ruben did what he was asked to do.
Then they started to laugh and said"This permits are fake, you are going to jail guero". My husband was surprised. He didn't now the papers were fake. He started sobbing and told them, "Please my father is dying, and I need to go and be by his side". They chuckled and said, "If your father is going to die you can't do nothing about it, But maybe we can fix this problem some how". They wanted the things we had inside of our car, like a t.v. set and a d.v.r that Ruben brought to sell for some the expenses of the funeral and the trip, but he told them, "No, am not going to make more mistakes. If you are going to take me to prison just do it " They started to whisper to each other, and then turn to my husband and say "We are going to let you go, so you can return to Juarez, and fix your problem".
Maybe those officers touch their hearts, I would never know. We returned to Juarez and tried to sell our cars , but no one offered a fair price. So we decided,to go to the airport and take a plane, but they didn't had flights that day.
Ruben decided to rent a van and leave are cars at the airport parking lot. The car that we rented had license plate of Coahuila, Mex, so nobody stooped us in the way to Guadalajara. It took us 32 hours to be in the city, we rode all the way to the hospital of Guzman, city were my father in law was. My husband got inside of the room looked at his father, for the first time in 6 years and told him "It's me Ruben don't you re recognize me", but he couldn't focus his sight and he couldn't speak either, he moved his eyes side ways like wondering where his son was, Ruben approached near him and gave him a kiss and whispered in the ear, " Don't be afraid of dead dad because you're going to be better with god in heaven", and your agony is going to end.
With a broken eye a drop of tear fell down to his cheek. He was breathing fast at first but when Ruben told him all those words, while he caressed his face and later hug him, he started to breath more calmed. When I entered to his room and sow him, I started to yelled and broke in tears, while my mother in law was holding me I stared to asked with a broken voice " why God let people suffer like this ". He wasn't my father but it hurt like he was my blood. Maybe from another life , don't ask me why but it hurt so deep inside of my heart and I only knew him for about a month but he already had a place in my life.
That night we went to rest, waiting for tomorrow to see him again, but we found out he just passed away. Ruben and his siblings prepared everything for the funeral, many people came to my husband childhood house, to pray for my father in law soul, that's the way Catholic people in Mexico, are accustomed to. While the people were inside , I had to wait in are car with my son, because he was to restless and he'll made noise inside of the house and could annoy the guest. So we waited out side for about 10 hrs until next morning. Next day it was time to go to the cemetery to say the last prayer and the last good bye. We spended 1 more day and later we returned to Juarez for our cars and to returned the rented car.
Next morning my sister's husband arrived by airplane to Juarez, he came to help us because he is a resident of U.S.A. And he could easily take the cars to California. We traveled by bus to Tijuana and I was able to see my sister that I miss so much, we stayed for two weeks then we cross San Isidro border by the sentry box everything was getting better, so we went to visit my mom, she lives at Bonita, California. I was so happy to see her because I miss her so much. But we had to say good bye again.
After that we headed to San Bernardino Cal. where my husband's aunt lives, she loaned us some money because we thought to take our children to Disney land, I thought they could relaxed and forget the hard moments of these unfortunate events, wish in they struggled, most of it my youngest one, he was 2 years old at that time. I have to say " They had the best time of their lives". My little son was surprised of the parade and the rides, but his big sister felt if she was at home , because she had gone before.
We were ready to go to our home at Colorado Springs, so we hit the road. We had the two cars and everything was almost O.K. because with the lost of my father in law my poor husband didn't have time to grief. He looked so strong, he is the kind of man that doesn't cry.
We were at the road and passing the last tunnel, we thought now we are o.k because this is Golden, Colorado. We could see the city view of Denver, Colorado the lights twinkling in the dark of the night, all of the sudden the car that we were towing, slipped with the icy road and sweep us away it made the car to crush in to a cement wall, close to the deep ravine . I just closed my eyes and "Said what ever you want for us, it's o.k with me dear God" and my husband said "Please help us God".
The car we were towing got detached from the car we were riding and roll over and ended destroyed. When I opened my eyes I toughed we were dead but surprising every body was fine, physically but emotionally every body was destroyed. I jumped out of the car opened the door and grabbed my son's car seat with him on it, I ran to a safer place because the cars were passing be so fast, my husband grabbed my daughter by the broken window.
It was like if dead was following us, no body wanted to stop it was 3am and then a Grand Caravan pulled over at the road shoulder. It was a elder gentleman he looked worry for us , he asked us " every body its o.k ? do you need help?". He happened to be a ex police man. When the ambulance and the firefighters came over, my husband was in a shock he couldn't speak he was just holding my son like staring with his sight lost , with his big green eyes wide open. I did all the talking with the officers, paramedics and the fire fighters.
They asked me "Is every body o.k" and I answered yes and then they depart . The gentleman who stopped, give us a ride to Denver we stayed in a hotel waiting for a friend to pick us up at 6:00 we were on are way to Colorado Springs. Finally once we were in Springs we start all over again with no money and no cars "Thank God we pay in advance the rent of the apartment and I left food in the frizzier " (The most important thing was that we were alive).
My poor son ended with postraumatic stress, but he is much better now and mi daughter cried for six months, my husband didn't had time to Griff and sometimes his eyes turn red when he start to remember his papa and his home town. The bruises of are body disappear, but the ones we have inside are hearts and memory, those just time will erase them. (So always try to be positive, because in a blink of an eye life can change. ) Things that I learned: to be more stronger, less naive, to save money and be grateful for every thing I have.
"Dedicated to an angel that watch for all of us from heaven " Porfirio Guizar De La Cruz .
What is your dream job? Why?
My dream job is a teacher because when I was young one of my elementary school teachers who inspired me. So long ago, but even today, still she is inside of my memory.
She was a very young, neat, bright, sparkled, fresh, and always smelled good. Sometimes, I went to her and didn't say anything just looked at her or sat down next to her. I don't know why I liked her a lot, but I know one thing she was very patient and always had a good smile on her face.
One day, I could not afford to have my lunch so I tried to go outside. She asked me, "Where are you going to?" I said to her, "I just want to go out side. Then she said again, "Where is your lunch?" I looked at her she asked me again and she came to me, held my hand, walked through her desk, then opened her lunch box, and gave to me half of her lunch. I didn't know what to do, but I was so hungry and I looked her lunch box; she had good food in there. I could not believe what I saw in her lunch box!
To me never ever seen all good food such dry seaweed, egg roll, sausage, etc.,
But guess what? After I had eaten her lunch, I was sick couple of days because from my house I never ate those stuff. After that happened, I liked my teacher's kindness and thoughtfulness very much. I think she was a good role model for me and other children who saw her actions with me.
Now, I am a grown person sometimes I sit down think about my old days, I can remember that day. In many times, I ask to myself if I am going to be in that situation can I do that like my teacher did for me?
Even today, I am working with children. I don't think I have that much of patience, passion, and love. A lot of times, I think this is my job to do so I just do my work without love or careless. Also many times, I ask myself do I really want to be a teacher with all that responsibilities? But at the bottom of my heart I really want to be a teacher because many children don't know who is their parents or some of them are growing up with single mom or dad. Therefore, many of children are missing very important stuff such as how to respect public, friends, parents, or older people.
In my opinion, if we don't teach them now, think about it twenty or thirty years later what it's going to be? In the future those young children will take over our country without what is right and wrong, I think they are completely lost their directions. That's why I would like to be a teacher- to do my best and teach the young children as much as I know and my experience from my life.
Friday, October 9, 2009
In each different culture there is a type of Tomar.
I will never forget when the doctor said. "Congratulations Lorena you are pregnant." I felt many emotions during the first few moment, but I was mostly happy and scared. A wave of happiness crashed over me, because I could finally be able to have a little boy. (I already had two girls). I was also scared because when I was twenty a horrible thing happened to me. I was pregnant with my first son and unfortunately he was born dead at eight months. Through out my entire pregnancy I was nervous. I did not want that to happen to me again. One day I came to school and one of the teachers gave me a little Virgin Mary and told me to wear it under my clothes all the time. She said that she would protect me. She also told me that everything would turn out fine. When she was pregnant, she wore it all the time. Later I put little red lace shaped like a ribbon in mi bra. Supposedly the color red is good luck for the the baby. Some people believe that it prevents the baby from having birth defects. I changed the lace every day when I took a shower. I am Catholic and believe strongly in the Virgin Mary and thank God my son is very healthy and about to turn three. I thank the Lord for everything. The same tomar that I used I gave to my friends Daysi when she was pregnant.
I will never forget when the doctor said. "Congratulations Lorena you are pregnant." I felt many emotions during the first few moment, but I was mostly happy and scared. A wave of happiness crashed over me, because I could finally be able to have a little boy. (I already had two girls). I was also scared because when I was twenty a horrible thing happened to me. I was pregnant with my first son and unfortunately he was born dead at eight months. Through out my entire pregnancy I was nervous. I did not want that to happen to me again. One day I came to school and one of the teachers gave me a little Virgin Mary and told me to wear it under my clothes all the time. She said that she would protect me. She also told me that everything would turn out fine. When she was pregnant, she wore it all the time. Later I put little red lace shaped like a ribbon in mi bra. Supposedly the color red is good luck for the the baby. Some people believe that it prevents the baby from having birth defects. I changed the lace every day when I took a shower. I am Catholic and believe strongly in the Virgin Mary and thank God my son is very healthy and about to turn three. I thank the Lord for everything. The same tomar that I used I gave to my friends Daysi when she was pregnant.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
IT WAS MY OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!
I'm going to tell you that maybe I took a wrong turn or maybe not in my life. Now, I am happy with my husband and my two kids. We try to have fun always, leave out of the house and travel. So I love them so much, but if God could give me other opportunity to go back to my past and take another turn, I would.Because I am not sorry for having my babies and getting married, just because I got married so young.I was only 17 .I think about all that my mother told me in all her advices.Also I could have been finished high school too, with not worries like who will take care of my kids, if I got to the school? , or if I am in school I am thinking about them.how were they?,will they cry or not? and these things don't let me pay attention at 100% at my teacher and I can't learn all. So other way if I would have been in my house with my mom it would have been different, no worries or distractions, but always we think when we did it , why ? I dont know.So, I know that I don't have another opportunity to start againg.the only thing I can do is to be happy, cheer, and not to be sad and work to grow up with my own family.
3-18-2009 The Passing of a Friend
March 18, 2009 was an ordinary day. In fact it was a day after my birthday. I turned eighteen on March 17. But on March 18, 2009 a really dear friend passed away.
August 21, 2006, Aaron Alan Edmiston became a freshman at Mesa Ridge High School. He and I were enrolled in the ROTC program there. He loved it, but I did not. We wore uniforms that were heavy and black and we could not even breathe. He went to competition in New Mexico that same year. He told me it was so loud there and it was so cold. So cold you can see your breath. I could hardly understand him because he lost his voice.
March 7, 2007, rolls around and it was the day of the Navy Ball. Navy Ball was an amazing dance. Hearing the music and feeling it beat your body around. From what I heard in the past the Navy Ball was way better then the Homecoming dance. Homecoming was fun but I loved Navy Ball. The downside of it was that we had to wear uniforms. But I did not care because in ten days was my birthday. I was turning fifteen so I was pretty excited.
May 22, rolls up and it was the last day of hell (or as the teachers and the school liked to put it as, Freshmen year). Summer was finally here and I was so happy because I had no school and I had no job for I was only a kid. I hung out with Aaron a lot during the summer. He was so cool and everywhere we would go he'd always wear a hat. That kid never took off that hat. But he was a great guy. He never meant to do anything wrong in his life but noone's perfect.
August 21, 2007 comes after a long hot summer. School begins and we were sophomores. The bell goes off and the students go to class. The halls were packed full of students. The final bell rings and any student caught out in the halls or out of class would get written up. Aaron and I were in ROTC again this year. But we had fun because we went to competition together with forty more cadets. It was in New Mexico again this year. We also played pranks on all of our high ranking officers and our teachers. Wow! You should have seen Aaron's face when I dropped a water balloon on my CO (commanding officer). The balloon was filled up with water and lotion. I got in so much trouble. I had to do so many push-ups I thought my arms were going to fall off.
Before I knew it , I was at 98 push-ups. I started to tear up and I was screaming the number. My CO was laughing her butt off. I still think she hates me. Aaron on the other hand was having a great time. Well we were done with the competition and we took home twenty-four first and second place trophies! We were so happy but my arms still hurt.
May 22, school's finally out and we are no longer sophomores. Summer finally starts yet again and I got to sleep in. Some days Aaron and I went to the movies for two reasons. One to enjoy a good movie and two to try and pick up girls. But this summer went by really fast. Before we knew it we went out and bought supplies for school. We couldn't find all the stuff we needed so we went to different places.
August 22, 2008, is here and school is back yet again. Just to annoy us I believe. But Aaron didn't really mind. He loved school because he was able to hang out with his friends and be in ROTC. He always made people laugh. Then before we knew it Navy Ball was here again. March 7, 2009, the Navy Ball was back. The music played, the cadets danced, and the teachers...Well they just watched. We took a break from dancing and announced the Navy Ball king, queen, prince, and princess. Aaron was the Navy Ball prince.
March 17, 2009, my birthday finally arrived. I was officially eighteen. I knew anything that I did wrong could put me in prison. But I didn't care because I was eighteen and I had no worry in the world. But the next day all hell broke loose. It was an ok day for me. Everything was going great. For Aaron it was a different story. He got in trouble for vandalizing some cars throughout his neighborhood. Him and two other cadets got in trouble with the law. I never knew what had happened until the next day.
March 19, 2009, this was a sad day for me and so many. My mom and dad went to work early that morning , but I stayed home because I felt "sick". 10:00 a.m. rolled around and I heard a knock on my front door. I wondered who the hell it was. So I answered it and it was my friend Kris. He was panicked and he sounded like he had been crying for awhile. I thought to myself "Why is Kris crying? He never crys." That's when I recieved the terrible news. I started to cry. The way Kris gave me the news he said, in a voice that was horse like he had been crying, he told me, "Last night Aaron got into a lot of trouble." I asked him, " Why are you crying though?" He replied, with tears running down his face, "Aaron killed himself!" That's what got me. My friend! My brother! Gone! Killed himself!
Aaron's passing was a strong and painful thing. I miss him. Everyone misses him. Mesa Ridge and ROTC will never be the same again. Not without Aaron being there.
Rest In Peace Aaron 5-27-1992 - 3-18-2009.
Good bye my brother.
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